Los Peterson

More like a 'Plant Squatter'. Gunnar went around the entire deck today sitting on all of our small potted plants and flowers, like they were miniature chairs built just for him.





Everyone thought it was cute except for the plants.

Gunnar and I were up on the deck this morning just chilling when I noticed one of the cute little mocking birds that frequent our outdoor space.

I love birds. I think I got that from my mom because she does too. She has bird feeders, bird baths, birdwatching binoculars and just about every bird identification book out there. She even bought one of those annoying clocks that makes the sound of a different kind of bird every hour. Really fun in the morning.

Anyway, mocking birds are especially interesting because they really do mimic the songs of others birds and things around them. A few weeks ago, one of my friends was telling me about a mocking bird in NYC that learned to sound like an ambulance and a jack hammer.



So Gunnar and I were checking out the mocking bird when all of the sudden we noticed another one with some bugs in its mouth. The two of them were chirping back and forth to each other for a long time and must have done about a dozen different calls when one of them flew into the little boxwood tree on the deck and emerged a few seconds later, empty beaked. This peaked my curiosity.


You can barely see the bird standing on the rail. Again, I left my 'phoneless camera' downstairs.

NYC is generally devoid of all of the naturey natural earthy fun experiences I enjoyed as a little girl in Alaska and Washington, so whenever I get the opportunity to see animal life (besides rats, cockroaches and pigeons) I jump at the chance. When I thought the two birds had gone, I decided to go and see if there were baby mocking birds nesting in our little tree. So quietly, I tiptoed over and started gently snooping around in the tree. I could hear something but the leaves were really thick so I couldn't quite make anything out. Then out of nowhere I heard what sounded like a seagull screaming and felt a quick, sharp peck on the top of my head. I jumped back, startled and turned around to find a very angry looking mocking bird, wings flapping, mouth open, aggressively telling me to back off. Point taken. When Gunnar was first born, I felt the same way when strange people started poking around at him. We'll stick to pigeon watching for now I guess.


Their nest is in that little tree.

Gunnar's been walking for about a week now. He learned while we were in the Cayman Islands just a few days after his first birthday. He's taken a few falls. In fact he fell a couple days ago and got a major fat lip. Actually, it was more than fat. It was obese.



But he's gotten pretty good at two-legged travel in the short time he's been doing it. To be honest, his new talent of walking isn't as hard for him as it is for us. He is into EVERYTHING now. And by everything, I mostly mean the toilets.



Nevertheless, it's great to see him learning and growing and developing so well. Chris hopes to have him skateboarding soon.

I've been debating all day about whether or not to write about this. Don't read it if you're feeling sensitive today. I won't be offended. It's just that sometimes we have wonderful days and sometimes we have sad, hard, difficult days. There's a reason we have both.

Today was the funeral of baby Beatrice. She's the daughter of two of our dearest friends out here in NYC. She lived 8 weeks and died in her mother's arms last Tuesday night. It was only the third time she'd ever gotten to hold her. Beatrice was born with a genetic disorder called Schwachman-Diamond Syndrome.

And now that I'm a parent I wonder is there any greater loss than the loss of a child? No. I don't think there is. It's not that I don't love my husband or my parents or my siblings or any of my other relatives or friends. It's just that there is no greater love than the love a parent has for a child. There just isn't. It's more than biological - it's spiritual. Looking squarely at what would without a doubt be my absolute greatest fear and nightmare, my first desire is to turn away and rationalize the many ways that we are safe from this unthinkable catastrophe. I don't want to look. I don't want to know. But I want to be there for our friends, so I have to.

Her funeral was beautiful. In her short life Beatrice inspired incredible acts of love and charity: friends, family, nurses, doctors, complete strangers all were changed and effected by her. It's amazing how someone so tiny and new can have such a tremendous impact on the world and leave such an expansive void in her absence. We love our friends so much. I can't tell you how much I wish they didn't have to endure this. I wish Bea had lived and been healthy. I wish for them all of that I am having with Gunnar. They are hurting so much right now.

Knowing what to say is the hardest thing. And the religious clichés of "she's in a better place now" or "this is part of God's plan," are sweet and true but completely wrong to say to anyone going through a loss so profound. Most of the time we say those things to make ourselves feel better not realizing that they don't help and sometimes even hurt the one we're trying to comfort. It's easier to say those things. It's harder to listen and listen and let them lean and be present with them in their pain. It's harder to endure with them through the weeks and months and years that they will mourn her death.

Losing a child must be one of the greatest tests of faith. It's one thing to believe in God and another thing to have faith in Him, but it's an entirely different thing to live that faith in the midst of tragedy. In my religion we believe that through the Savior, families can be together forever. Not just for this life, but for eternity. I can't tell you what a comfort that is to me and what it must be to our friends. Faith in this doesn't necessarily dull the pain of death. It doesn't lessen the sting it or make it easier. It only gives the hope of reprieve. It lets them know that someday the deep, inconsolable pain they bear will be gone and that someday will be when they get to hold their sweet Beatrice again.

I hugged and kissed Gunnar probably too much today. By evening he was pushing my arms away and dodging and wriggling to escape my smooching lips. I couldn't help it though. Today was one of those sad, hard, difficult days.

This was the best vacation ever! Well, it wasn't entirely all vacation - at least not for Chris. He worked every day we were there. But even working in the Caymans was amazing and working in the Ritz Carlton in the Caymans was even more amazing.







Can I just say, "wow"?! Neither one of us had ever stayed and a real live Ritz before. In fact, the only Ritz I've ever experienced before this was the cracker (yummy, but not as good as the hotel). Only downside is how crappy the West Inn is going to feel from now until forever. Oh well.



The beach was just a short walk from our hotel room, which was also nice. And so fun since this was Gunnar's very first beach/ocean experience. Here he is doing a "Daddy, up" in the Caribbean. (Don't worry, Chris caught him).



The salt water was definitely a new experience for him too. He must have tasted it on my skin because at one point he started licking my shoulder. Then he started biting me, like I was a piece of meat or something. I finally had to pry him off of me and give him a biscuit.



The highlight of the trip though was our excursion to "Stingray City". Chris and I swam with stingrays on our honeymoon in Tahiti so it wasn't a totally new experience for us, but it definitely was for Gunnar.





Chris did get a teeny bit nervous when he first got in the water with them. He didn't say so but I'm pretty sure he was thinking about getting barbbed in the heart and dying like the Crocodile Hunter in this shot.



Here's Gunnar locking lips with a stingray our Bolivian guide called Emily. He even licked it. I guess he thought those stingrays were pretty awesome. Move over goats.



Next years' Christmas card?



Later we went somewhere else to snorkel. I let Chris go the whole time because he loves snorkeling and I just like it.



Instead I chilled on the boat with Gunnar and we dipped our feet in the water and looked at fish. The water was so clear.



Despite the weird frowny face Gunnar is making in this picture, we all had a fantastic time. In fact, Gunnar actually learned to walk on this trip! So fun.

I can't believe it's already been one whole year since Gunnar was born! It almost doesn't seem possible, but at the same time - it kinda feels like it's been a whole lot longer. It must be the combination of parental devotion and sleep deprivation. Both distort time.

Either way, this past year has been the most wonderful year of my life. It hasn't been the easiest year and we've had to make lots of changes and adapt in many different ways - but Gunnar has brought so much joy into our lives. Pure love and a complete fullness of joy, from the very first moment he entered the world.



So to celebrate Gunnar's life thus far, I made him his very own Elmo cake . . . to destroy. I've never made an 'Elmo cake' before, so I had to get creative. At the same time I didn't want to put too much effort into it - since it was really only meant to be a sacrificial, edible effigy. Gunnar, like most children, loves Elmo. I, on the other hand, harbor a lot of ambivalence toward the guy.



The eyes are frosted cookies and chocolate rounds and the mouth is chocolate too, but I couldn't find anything edible to make the orange nose out of. So, I just used one of Gunnar's toy balls. I think it worked.



Then we took him up on the deck, lit a little candle and sang happy birthday to him. At first, he didn't really know what to make of the whole thing.



But once he realized mom and dad weren't going to say "no no", he got pretty excited.



He sucked the frosting off of that nose for a good five minutes. Hopefully that'll fatten him up a bit.



When he'd licked Elmo's nose clean, he actually crawled over and put it back.



But he wasn't through yet . . .



We gave him a fork to use in hopes that he might eat some of the cake. No chance.



We gave him another fork and he played cake drums.



Then he shoved his face in it.



So we hosed him down and called it a (happy birth) day.

P.S. Gunnar's present this year was that he got to come with us to the Cayman Islands instead of getting dumped off at grandma's house :) Chris had business meetings out here so we extended our trip. It's pretty amazing. Blog more soon.

I'm back on U.S. soil. Although it's nice to be home, I could have stayed another week in England. What a trip. Next time we're getting one of the grandparents to watch Gunnar, because it would have been 100 times better with Renae. But it was still a great time.


It started with a day trip to the English countryside. Here's "town center" of Avebury, a village surrounded by large henge and stone circles dating back only, oh, 5,000 years or so.



Here's a shot of a section of the outer circle:



After walking around the circle a bit, my friend and I got a bite to eat at this pub which was established before the U.S. declared independence.



Here's something you don't find too often in NYC. A big open field with rolling hills as far as you can see:



Then it was off to Stonehenge. I've seen so many pictures of Stonehenge that I thought I would be a little disappointed seeing it in person. It failed to disappoint. What an awesome structure.



I got so caught up in the moment that I actually purchased a bunch of souvenirs in the shop (I never do that). Most of them were for Gunnar (his very own "Spoonhenge" - which I hoped would get him more excited about eating, a black t-shirt that says "Stonehenge Rocks", and a Stonehenge popup book). With the dollar so weak, I think it only cost me about $35,000.

Here I am in all my touristy glory:



I was quite jealous of the carefree and relaxed nature of this gentleman sketching in the light breeze:



And one last shot before we left:



I couldn't get used to sitting as a passenger on the left-hand side of the road. Every time a car would approach from the opposite direction I would flinch a little because it just felt wrong.



I loved the old little towns that seemed to just suddenly appear:



On Friday I spent most of the day walking around London.



And ate at one of my favorite restaurants, Wagamama. If you haven't eaten at Wagamama, you don't know what you're missing. Renae and I even bought the Wagamama cookbook about 9 years ago. I wish they had one in NYC.







Then my iPhone battery was running low, so I found the nearest Apple store, stole some iPhone juice and purchased a new Rilo Kiley album over the free WiFi.



At that point I was getting a little board. So I called Renae and asked her for any suggestions of places to visit (since she lived there about 9 years ago). She said to walk over to Hyde Park.

Best-advice-ever.

When I got to Hyde Park I heard music playing. Turns out they were right in the middle of the 02 Wireless festival. I bought a ticket for 50 pounds (yikes!) and ventured in.



Made a quick stop at the halfpipe before heading to the main stage (mental note: start skating halfpipes again this summer).



And then headed over to the main stage. Beck was performing. I've seen Beck perform before, and this wasn't one of his best shows. He was extremely mellow. I like the more hyper Beck. That's just me.

After Beck finished, I had a decision to make. Head over to one of the smaller stages and watch the New York Dolls play, or push my way towards the front of the main stage and see Morrissey. I've never seen him perform, and admittedly, I've never been a huge fan. So I wasn't quite sure what to do. A Canadian couple who I made friends with told me I had to stay and that I wouldn't regret it. We pushed our way up as close as we could. Turned out to be worth it. Morrissey put on an amazing show.



I'm not sure how many people were there, but it seemed like a HUGE crowed. Later that night I saw the concert replaying on TV and it just looked like an endless sea of people:



The sound was too loud for my little Canon Elf, so forgive the audio on this clip:



I found this photo a bit interesting (beer, cigarette, trash and a healthy sugar snap pea (none of them were mine):




All in all, a fantastic trip. I wish Renae had been there with me, but there is always next time...